Christian Family

NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE (2)

Christian Family » Family Matters » June, 2014
 

 

Dear Reader,

I count it a great privilege to share God's Word with you again today. Last week, I brought you the introductory part of this month's teaching. I said an understanding of the concept of oneness will chase away selfishness from homes, and will put an end to fighting and misunderstandings.

This week, by the grace of God, I will reveal a major requirement for oneness in marriage: Maturity!

In God's concept, marriage is for men and women, not for boys and girls. God's Word says: ...the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Genesis 2:22). Again in verse 24, the Bible says: "Therefore shall a man…cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."  Take particular note of the words ‘man' and ‘woman,' in the above passages.

Maturity comes in different ways: it is possible for a physical giant to be an emotional dwarf. It is also possible for a grown man to be as immature as a 13-year-old boy.  It is possible for a beautiful woman to be an emotional child. The connection this has with marriage is that marriage requires physical, spiritual and emotional maturity.

Some adults never outgrow childhood immaturity, and they demonstrate it in their marriages. This is one of the reasons many marriages fail! Briefly, let's consider three characteristics of maturity that make oneness a reality in marriage:

Selfless Attitudes & Behaviour:

An Indian expression reads: "You do not marry whom you love; you love whom you marry." Ironically, most married couples today, married whom they love, but the key to success in marriage is to love whom you married, because the choice has been made, and there is no going back.

Unfortunately, many marriage relationships are challenged because some individuals put their selfish desires and needs before their spouses. Infidelity and divorce are usually the results of this.

Maturity speaks of selflessness. This is considered to be the most salient characteristic of marital success.  Nothing is more central to success in marriage than selflessness: being more concerned with your husband or wife's success, happiness or comfort than you are of your own.

Gratitude:

Gratitude is a feeling, emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive. Gratitude is a very vital attitude in marriage; it is a positive indicator that a husband and wife find their relationship satisfying. But it's quite disheartening to know that many husbands and wives hardly know what it means to say, "Thank you."  I believe, the words are absent because the feeling is absent. The understanding of oneness helps you to habitually appreciate and acknowledge your spouse's input in every circumstance.  Gratitude is a very beautiful act to demonstrate, because it usually returns with rich rewards.

Flexibility:

Apparently, nothing in your marriage is going to stay the same forever: not you, your spouse, living conditions, income, job status, children, etc. Flexibility makes it easy for you to be in peaceful harmony with your spouse. Husband, do not feel that your wife is incapable of making any sound decisions; thereby, ignoring her completely. Wife, do not feel that your husband is making foolish investments. Rather, cultivate the habit of a friendly discussion, and all misconceptions will disappear.

When you are rigid and unbending, it becomes intolerable for you and your spouse to have a perfect synchronization of true love and agreeable freedom.  Thus, to make sure that your marriage doesn't fail, stay flexible, and be ready and able to adapt to changing circumstances.

I want you to know that God, who is the sole designer of marriage, has the blueprint for marriage. That means His view on marriage must be taken seriously, if we desire to reap the full reward of marriage. Subscribing to God's view of marriage is enhanced by your identity with Jesus.

Are you born-again? You get born-again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are set for this, say this prayer of faith with me: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born-again!

Congratulations! You are now born-again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: contact@faithoyedepo.org and counselling@faithoyedepo.org OR 07026385437 and 08141320204

            For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

 

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