It is great to have you back this week to this exciting column. Last week, I commenced a teaching on effective communication between husband, wife, and family members.
I said no matter how good you think your communication skills with your spouse is right now, it can yet be improved on.
There are certain things that make for effective communication in marriage. That is why, this week, I will be discussing on "Components of Communication!"
Communication has been defined as the art of passing across news, information, feelings or whatever, to somebody else. Communication is done mostly in words. But in marriage, communication is more than passing across a feeling, thought, message or desire. It also involves how a thing is said, and when it is said.
The word "communication" in marriage is broken down to "communion", which means "sharing thoughts and feelings." To commune means to "speak together as close friends." Therefore, communication is a major component that makes oneness possible.
Men who are too busy to spend quality time with their families are courting trouble. For instance, my children and I fully understood my husband's vision, so it's easy for us to make the necessary sacrifices to ensure he doesn't fail.
A sister met me some time ago, bemoaning her situation. She said she and her spouse were contemplating divorce, just after three months of marriage. They lived like cat and dog. Probing further, I discovered that the problem did not start after their marriage, but while they were still courting. They never spent time talking and getting to know each other. That was why a marriage of just three months had cracks already.
What then, are these Components of Communication?
There's no solid foundation for communication outside trust. God's Word says: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25). The man and his wife must work at being trustworthy, for it is only then that they can earn the trust of each other, giving communication a solid foundation.
Women complain that while they love to tell their husbands what their fears, hope and aspirations are, the men say nothing. Perhaps, that's why H. Norman concludes, "Many men believe women perceive information differently, and they share in public what men see as only personal. However, trust is essential, if we are going to be able to communicate always with our spouse."
God's Word says: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3). Understanding is the basis of effective communication, which is where successful homes are established. When understanding is in place between couple, less friction is bound to occur.
Many homes are destroyed because of misunderstanding. The husband misunderstands his wife's actions; the woman also read meanings into simple statements made by the man. That is why God's Word says: Good understanding giveth favour… (Proverbs 13:15).
No one keeps secret from himself. God's Word says: …Hide not thyself from thine own flesh (Isaiah 58:7). Openness and transparency here, does not mean saying everything that is on your mind; that may be regarded as dumping garbage on your spouse. No! Communication simply entails, maintaining an attitude of openness, with nothing to hide.
To efficiently exhibit the aforesaid components of communication, you need to become born again. Being born again connotes confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer of faith with me: "Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today acknowledging that I am a sinner who needs Your forgiveness. I believe You died for me and rose again on the third day. Forgive me my sins, wash me with Your Blood and write my name in the Lamb's Book of life. Thank You Lord for saving me."
Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God's Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus' Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).