Why Success in the Family (2)
I welcome you to this exciting column, in Jesus' name! Last week, I showed you some of the reasons why your marriage must succeed. Today, I want to show you some of the principles you need to know, for success to be the order of the day in your family.
Understanding Male And Female Differences: As human beings, we are complex creatures with a complex four-fold makeup of the mind, heart, body and soul. These four areas of our lives are all tied together very intimately, to make us who we are. Each has specific needs and when one area is ill or hurting, it affects the whole person.
As male and female partners in marriage, it is very important that you understand and appreciate the peculiarities, which make your personalities. Why is it necessary to know all these? Because many are suffering in silence! They have great marriage plan, but because of lack of understanding, their marriage fail to succeed. Look at this testimony:
"Somebody brought me to Winners' Chapel and I gave my life to Christ. I later enrolled for the Word of Faith Bible Institute (WOFBI) October Special course, where I learnt many things through the Word of God. My husband also got the form, paid the fees and started the programme.
On the second day of the programme, my husband came back home and the first thing he said was, ‘Mummy, you are a woman of wisdom!' On the fourth day, when he returned, he said, ‘Mummy, I have to kneel down to beg you, because I now realize that all the things you have been telling me are true. But I didn't listen, because I lacked knowledge.' He even confessed that all this while, it was Satan that blinded his eyes.
My house is so peaceful now as my husband is now a transformed man! In fact, my honeymoon has just started! I give God all the glory!" - U. F. (Mrs.)
Share Your Life With Your Mate: A second principle of a successful marriage is to share with each other. This may sound strange on the surface, when it is usually the real problem in many marriages. There are several areas where sharing is very important in marriage.
The first is in the sharing of companionship, to play and worship together. Another is in the sharing of common and personal goals. This could involve financial goals, family goals, spiritual goals, educational goals, hobbies and career.
There is the sharing of burdens and joys. We all need someone to talk with, when things go wrong and when they go well. We need a loving and supportive ear.
Also, husband and wife should learn to share their physical bodies with one another. After marriage, the physical body of the husband belongs to the wife, and that of the wife belongs to the husband. Both husband and wife are to enjoy satisfaction from each other's body. They are not expected to refrain their bodies from each other anymore. The Word of God says: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Create A Healthy And Trusting Relationship: Another principle for a successful marriage is trust. As husband and wife, you must trust each other completely and explicitly, if you are to enjoy a long term relationship. But you must keep in mind that trust cannot be expected or demanded; it must be earned.
The beginning of trust is an open relationship, where communication is free and truthful. It is an outgrowth of one's spiritual life, where the relationship with God has been fully resolved. A sinner cannot be totally truthful in all their life's activities. Your marriage has a good foundation for success, when your spouse is a born-again follower of Christ.
There is no deception when your life is pure and clean. It involves the disclosure on one's morality and commitment to God, spouse and family. It involves being passionately interested in one's life and the life of those around one. It involves being free and honest with yourself and everyone else. It involves character.
Love Your Mate With "Agape" Love: Love is one of those words that isn't totally adequate in itself. We use and overuse it for almost every emotion from sexual feelings to friendship. The problem with "love" is that when we use a word to mean everything, it soon means nothing. It becomes shallow and soon the phrase, "I love you" carries little weight.
There are three Greek words which we interpret in English language as "love". The first is "eros" meaning sexual love. The second is "phileo" love meaning friendship. It's the word from where the city of Philadelphia got it name, meaning "brotherly love". A third word, "agape" is the kind of love that God has, a self-giving love that keeps loving even when we become unlovable.
"Agape" love is kind and patient. It seeks the welfare of the other person and centres its attention on their needs. Agape is forgiving and merciful. The Bible teaches about this kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
Let Christ Rule Your Home: God is all you need to have all your needs met. Without the help of God, you cannot amount to anything in life, especially in the area of marriage and home. The Word of God says: Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man (Psalm 60:11). We need God's help. In order to love and relate to one another, you need the wisdom and power that is only available through Christ. The wealthiest people in the world have failed in marriage. The reason is simply because they don't have the inner strength or righteousness to relate to another human being on the high level of "agape" love.
Grace to accept responsibility that makes for success in the home, can only come from God. If you are not born again, you need to surrender your life to Christ. Surrendering your life to Christ entails confessing your sins and accepting Him as your Lord and Saviour. If you want to do that right now, you can please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus' Name!
Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:
E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel. No: 08141320204; 07026385437; 07094254102
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Single With A Difference, Building A Successful Family, and Success In Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo).